Breathe

i'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it

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Things I wrote down after you left

7th September 2013 – 9:10PM

I honestly just want to die

18th September 2013 – 10:20PM

My friend said in class “but I don’t want you to die” and your head popped up.

30th September 2013 – 9:30PM

Today, I met a boy and he made me laugh

5th October 2013 – 7:15PM

He calls me beautiful, just like you did.

4th December 2013 – 3:29PM

I just saw that boy at the shops with his friend. They were pointing and laugh at me. I feel sick to my stomach. I wish you were there to make it better.

17th December 2013 – 11:15PM

I think my storm has passed.

13th January 2014 – 1:32AM

I want the memories to go away but I’m scared to forget

30th April 2014 – 9:14AM

You said I smelt nice, I feel sick.

5th May 2014 – 6:16PM

It’s getting bad again

7th May 2014 – 5:01PM

I never got an explanation and it hurt

8th May 2014 – 4:25PM

Dad was recklessly driving and I couldn’t breathe

9th May 2014 – 8:20AM

In my dream last night, there was a shooting star and I wished for you.

9th May 2014 – 11:34PM

You said you never wanted to let me go, you lying piece of shit.

11th May 2014 – 2:09PM

In my dream, someone kissed my forehead and I felt my heart drop

14th may 2014 – 3:44PM

You spoke to me today, and it hurt.

14th May 2014 – 3:49PM

I hope someone breaks your heart the way you broke mine, just so you can feel what I did.

14th May 2014 – 8:53PM

I don’t think I was ever your friend; from the moment we spoke you liked me. And when you didn’t like me anymore, we didn’t speak.

18th May 2014 – 11:49PM

I remember the first time you held my hand. I don’t know if it was because of the cold or the fact I loved you but fuck; I felt the world rush through my veins.

18th May 2014 – 11:52PM

I will never forget you. I will always hurt. Please come back to me. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

19th May 2014 – 4:41PM

I spoke to you again today, twice actually. I love talking to you, it’s not the same though but I still like it. It makes me anxious. You have no idea how much you hurt me.

19th May 2014 – 4:47PM

PLEASE JUST CARE ABOUT ME. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE.

19th May 2014 – 10:27PM

He fell out of love as quickly as he fell into it

20th May 2014 – 4:22PM

I REALLY HOPE YOU MISS ME. I REALLY HOPE. I HOPE TO GOD. I HOPE YOU MISS ME.

21st May 2014 – 3:42PM

What really hurts is that you’re okay and I’m just hurting.

22nd May 2014 – 2:35PM

You waved goodbye to me and I felt my body shake.

24th May 2014 – 9:11AM

My stomach feels weird; I don’t know what this is. Is this me, getting over you?

26th May 2014 – 7:31AM

You’re haunting my dreams again.

26th May 2014 – 4:28PM

You are getting inside my head again. I can feel it. All I wanted to do today was talk to you.

26th May 2014 – 8:51PM

YOU’RE SLOWLY CREEPING BACK IN, YOU’RE GOING TO HURT ME AGAIN AND I DON’T EVEN WANT YOU TO STOP. I WANT YOU BACK SOO BAD. I AM SO SORRY.

28th May 2014 – 10:19pm

I hope you miss me sometimes

8th June 2014 – 7:07PM

I miss you.

8th June 2014 – 11:16PM

He did make me happy. Like really happy. I don’t know what happened. Something changed.

11th June 2014 – 5:18PM

Today is the first day in a long time that has been alright and I really don’t want it to end.

14th June 2014 – 4:20PM

I’m still confused whether you hurt me or I just hurt myself.

17th June 2014 – 9:21PM

You broke my heart and all I want to know is if you are okay.

20th June 2014 – 9:33PM

It has been one hell of a year.

23rd June 2014 – 9:40PM

I felt it. The way it was before. When you loved me. You looked at that way you laughed in that way. Wow.

23rd June 2014 – 9:47PM

He looked at me like the way he used to and I was like oh shit.

24th June 2014 – 6:40PM

One day, I won’t need you.

25th June 2014 – 10:06PM

You look at me as if I matter.

29th June 2014 – 7:57PM

I am so sorry, I still love you though.

29th June 2014 – 7:59PM

I THINK I AM BETTER I THINK I AM BETTER I THINK I AM OKAY

30th June 2014 – 9:58PM

He made me really happy, I want that back.

2nd July 2014 – 2:14PM

You gave me your earphones to watch something and our hands TOUCHED AND YOU LOOKED AT ME AND KIND OF SMILED AND I WAS LIKE EXCUSE ME YOU BROKE MY HEART.

2nd July 2014 – 10:03PM

I see you everywhere I go.

2nd July 2014 – 10:51PM

You loved me, you did. I bet you can do it again.

1st July 2014 – 6:30PM

I don’t really like people or guys, but when you came, holy shit you blew my mind.

3rd July 2014 – 4:41PM

He never said he lost feelings.

3rd July 2014 – 9:30PM

Or maybe there weren’t feelings to lose.

13th July 2014 – 12:12PM

I don’t think I’m suicidal anymore.

-a collection of the things i said when i was hurt (via im-not-doing-okay)

(vía suicidalpudge)

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bled:

18+
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breakinq:

following back heaps♡
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calebostgaard:

A young man and a woman enjoy swimming in flooded St. Mark’s Square in Venice, Italy, Sunday, Nov. 11, 2012. I want this.
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sex-thrill:

my blog will make you horny ;)
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intriguers:

how many calories do I burn when I run away from my problems?

(vía yourcrazyworld)

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tohkeo:

more here